Birthdays

Today is my birthday.

I've been thinking about birthdays a lot lately. I'm very conflicted about them. I'm inclined to hate them but not because I'm getting older, although, frankly, when I think about my age, how far I've come, how far I've got to go, and what I haven't done yet that I thought I would have by now I definitely freak. My thinking isn't a kind of freaking out though. It's an introspective assessment of self which isn't all that comfortable. Who am I? Am I on the right path? Is this what I'm meant to do with my life?

The reason I hate my birthday is that it is generally one of the worst days of my year in terms of things that go wrong. Last year it was my last lesson with a horrific teacher who did nothing but tell me what a bad musician I was. Glass half full, it was my last lesson. Glass half empty, I still had to sit for an hour and listen to someone tell me how I wasn't living up to my potential on my birthday. The year before that I was sicker than a dog, and was for most of the holiday weekend. I had to drive nine hours back to school while I was pretty sure my head was going to explode. The year before that I turned 21, and I also spent the whole thing in a car with my mother (same nine hour trip), who I love, but let's face it. Is that really where I wanted to be on my birthday? I never did get that quitessential 21st birthday with the big party and the booze and the freedom to get drunk and know that people are watching out for you. The year before that... I can't remember. But there was the year in high school where none of my friends, my closest friends, the ones I've known since preschool even bothered to say, "Happy Birthday" to me, and it wasn't because they were throwing a surprise party either.

And then there's the fact that my mother always asks me what I want for my birthday and Christmas, but I never get anything that was on my list. Last year, the dining table. This year a coffee table. I'd rather have had Ratatouille on DVD. Or the Le Crueset dutch oven I asked for. And you reach a point in your life where the things you really want aren't something your mom can go out to Target and get you. Health. Happiness. Success. Love.

And then I have to share my bithday always, with my dad and my brother's girlfriend and even with other friends (which I don't mind because then we can have a big party together, or at least try. That year I turned 21 three of us tried to have a party together because we were all turning 21 but then one of us decided not to show up and watch movies with her boyfriend instead, and the whole thing degenerated from there and was mostly just embarassing.)

Now I sound like I'm whining. I'm trying not to, really. Because at 24, you'd think I'd be over this whole "it's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to" thing. And I'm not writing this for sympathy, though I wouldn't turn down a "happy birthday." I've just sort of stopped hoping for someone to throw me a party or for someone to take me out for a drink. I'm waiting for the universe to drop the other shoe on my birthday this year. So far, nothing heinous is planned, except for Tuesdays being the longest day of my week. I'm not sick, I'm not turning 21, I have a lesson tomorrow but with a nice, sympathetic teacher, I'm not driving cross country. But really, I just want someone to show up with Ratatouille and a box of chocolates tomorrow. Because it's not the same when you buy them for yourself.

I approach this birthday with trepidation, one foot out the door, ready to escape should the universe decide that 24 isn't my year either. And, really? Is this who I want to be? A person who is expecting to be hurt? A person with an escape plan?

So happy birthday, me. May this year be better than the last.

The view from my window

Snow. Real snow this afternoon. The kind of wet, slushy snow that makes you want to curl up in your apartment with a blanket and a book and some tea and listen to the snow fall. Alas, I trudged on to campus and arrived mightly wet only to find that my pianist did not come to rehearsal, so I trudged back out again and strapped myself to my computer to continue working on a term paper.

But tonight I'm decorating my apartment. Which will probably take all of 20 minutes since my Christmas tree is about 18 inches high. But I have some other holiday goodies to spread around all courtesty of my Gramma. The most recent addition are some holiday placemats for my dining table. Nevermind that I don't actually use my dining table (a currently useless birthday present from last year.) As a single person eating alone without anyone to talk to over dinner, I usually eat on the couch. Don't tell my dad. He'd be horrified.

I finished the front of my Aran Accent Vest. It's so pretty! I can't wait to finish the back. It's a quite entertaining knit. I had a few false starts and miscrossed cables, but all the ripping back was worth it. It looks a little bit small right now. I'm knitting the Medium size (the measurements for which I don't currently have in front of me) on slightly smaller needles, so the current measurements are probably about 36". Now, I would NEVER wear a meduim in real life, but after casting on for the large and doing some highly scientific eyeballing, I decided that medium was the way to go. I also read on Ravelry that the one person who has managed to finish this suggests knitting it small. It's very stretchy, so it will be easy to block out slightly and will no doubt grow with wear.

It should all work out in the end. I think. I hope.

Tiny

Miniature Mittens in Norwegian Rose Pattern
from Folk Mittens by Marcia Lewandowski
Yarn: Bits of Knit Picks Gloss
Needles: US 1
Mods: Opted not to make a finger-knitted cord and just tied together the cast-on strings instead

These little babies are just too cute to pass up. I whipped them up while catching up on my missed TV shows this week (Pushing Daisies, Ugly Betty, and Grey's Anatomy, I'm looking at you.) They took a bit longer than anticipated because I haven't done any stranded knitting in a while, especially something so tiny, but I'm back in the swing. These are not the free pattern I posted on the sidebar. The reason that free pattern came to be was because I was looking for this book in my rather large personal library and I couldn't find it! I'm planning on making more of these for the holidays to give as little gifts. These are decidedly Christmas-y but I have some other yarn lying around which will make them holiday-neutral.

I'm a posting machine this weekend!

Quick Update

I'm all set up on Ravelry so friend me! And then let me know you friended me so I can friend you back!

Also, I updated my links in the sidebar. I let them get woefully out of date. I have pretty stringent requirements for making it on my links list - the sites have to be regularly updated with beautiful, inspiring knits which fit well and have thoughtful commentary. I really do read these blogs on a daily basis, and I always look forward to new posts.

Have a great weekend!

Dollar and a Half

Dudes, oh dudes, I apologize for the crappiness of these photos. I need to get a tripod, and thankfully my birthday is coming up so I should have a bit of free cash floating around. I had a beautiful photo shoot all planned out in my head. There's this great little natural area across the road from my apartment and the ground is golden with fallen leaves, and the light would have been so good, but without a tripod, or a person to man the camera, I spent too much time this morning when I should have been practicing trying to get a good shot. This is the best I could do:

The outtakes were pretty amusing in that completely not amusing is-that-really-what-I-look-like sense. And black is so hard to photograph.... So let's forget about that and enumerate the wonderful things about this sweater. No Michelin man arms! The length! The way it buttons without gapping! Its cozy softness! Here are the details:

Dollar and a Half Cardigan by Veronik Avery from IK Spring 2007
Yarn: Sheperd Colour 4 Me 8-ply (11 balls?) 100% wool
Color: 1904
Needles: US 6 and US 8
Size: 41"

Modifications: Lots.

First of all, shortened the whole shebang, from hem to sleeves. Pattern calls for 26 1/2" body length and 23" sleeves. Final measurements for me: Chest: 42" Body: 24" Sleeves: 19 1/4" (The chest is actually what the schmatic measurements are in the pattern. All of the schmatic bust measurements are not what is given in the finished size on the pattern. Be forwarned.) Used a needle two sizes smaller for the reverse stockinette sections, as per suggestions from the knit along. I knit the ribbing at the hem and sleeves in US 8, but decided to use US 6 for the button band, because I wanted a stiffer fabric to prevent gapping when buttoned. I did not pick up the number of stitches recommended because I had shortened the body so significantly, but I would pick up what is recommended next time because I had to block the button bands separately to keep them from bunching. This worked fine though. I also did 5 buttons instead of 4 and put them on the striped side instead of the cabled side because I wanted to add visual interest to that side (plus, it's a more natural buttoning position.)

All in all, I LOVE THIS SWEATER. It fits so much better than I thought it would. I was worried that it would be too big because I would generally knit a 40" size, and without waist shaping, I was worried. Plus the Michelin man thing. It is still apparent that there is a clear distinction between the lace and the reverse stockinette but it's not puffy. I might recommend in the future to knit this slightly small and then block it out. The finished pieces were exactly the right size so the lace didn't really open much, but it is still a nice textural contrast. The 100% wool yarn probably didn't help with the lace definition either. Also, for those that might knit this, try to do as much of the increasing and decreasing in the reverse stockinette sections as possible, because it's really really confusing in the lace panels.

And, oh, the yarn, the yarn! It's so soft and squishy, which makes this a super comfortable sweater, for those days you're feeling a little vulnerable. I'm so glad I bought enough for another sweater in light blue, which was supposed to be for the Deep V, but may be allocated to another project. Plus it's warm, which is helpful when you're trying to save on your heating bill.

As my teacher would say, "Me likey."

Teaser

Dollar and a Half is done, done, done. She's even been worn once, the day after an ill-conceived late night finishing session. She is everything I hoped for and more.... but the more is going to have to come later. It's a remarkably grey, dreary day here, so FO shots are not going to happen until later this week.

Also, I'm on Ravelry now. Screen name: doubleG. I'm not really set up at all - got to get a Flickr account and other stuff, but that should be happening next weekend....

I've now got a real live knit buddy. She's just starting out, but is eager for a sweater. I'm looking for some fairly simple patterns for her that are still flattering. Any suggestions?

Quiet

It's been pretty quiet around the blog lately. I've been working incredibly hard and doing a lot of thinking. Dangerous thing, thinking. Last week was horrible, and I didn't feel like touching anything that I might possibly break, which includes the blog. It was just one of those weeks where even though you're keeping a good attitude, things just keep blowing up in your face, and there's nothing you can do about it. This week has been better.

I've been knitting though. Here's the sleeves for $1.50, 2/3 of the way done. It's kind of a slog to knit these both together. Now that I've finished the increases, the stitch total is more than for the back, but I thought doing them both together was a good idea for two reasons. One, no second sleeve syndrome. Two, increases and decreases in the lace pattern are hard to keep track of, so if I do them together and have to make stuff up, at least both sleeves are the same.

That other little curl at the top is the beginnings of a swatch for my Aran Accent vest, which is up next after $1.50, if some socks don't sneak in there first. I'm trying to do some swatch magic to make the vest fit better. I want something between the Medium and Large sizes (39 and 44 1/2). Preferrably something around 40" or 41". Also, the total length of the vest is supposed to be 24 or 24 1/2 inches. I'd prefer something a little bit shorter, but in order to preserve the cable pattern, I'm hoping to do this with the swatch.

I've been coveting Kara's Gretel. I've got a couple of skeins left over from Arwen which might be perfect. But then I've been doing a lot of thinking about designing my own sweaters lately. Maybe something along the lines of brainylady's BOB cardigan or maybe just a Elizabeth Zimmermann special. Also, I saw a pair of gloves on the bus the other day that are just bouncing around in my head, dying to become mittens or fingerless mitts, but first I've got to get my hands on a stitch dictionary...

Like I said. Lots of thinking.